


Love You So Bad

by yourfavoritetsundre



Series: Duality Project [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Sickness, Weddings, space boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 10:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17744264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourfavoritetsundre/pseuds/yourfavoritetsundre
Summary: Lance just wants to get married, and Keith is clueless.





	Love You So Bad

**Author's Note:**

> Couple of quick notes about the story, author's notes at the bottom. 
> 
> So, I removed "We Could Be Heroes" and when/if I get around to finishing it, I will repost it as a one-shot. 
> 
> Note on this story line, in this universe Haggar disappears as a result of what happens in the cannon universe. The war kind of grinds to a slow and steady halt as a result of that, and the Paladins focus their efforts on rebuilding. (Not the big bang I'm sure everyone wanted, but they've suffered enough.)

Lance had been having a quiet day in Coleen Holt’s lab with Pidge when Allura and Romelle burst in. He liked the smell of the tomato leaves from the plants she had been growing, the cool lights and the hum of the support systems. 

 

“Ezor and Zethrid are finally getting married!” Allura announced. “Tomorrow night, on the Bridge.” 

 

Lance rolled his eyes and slouched back down. “Lame.” 

 

Pidge rose an eyebrow, but both the Alteans rounded on him immediately. “How can you say that?” blended with, “It’s so sweet, how dare you!” 

 

Lance just shrugged. “Just like...on the Bridge? Really? At least wait till we stop off on a planet.” 

 

Planetside stops had been pretty frequent in the two years since Atlas first left Earth. Spending a little extra time for wedding wouldn’t have inconvenienced anyone. Though maybe Ezor and Zethrid had been together so long the wedding was more of a formality than anything else. 

 

“Well, what would you do?” Romelle challenged. 

 

Lance sat up again. “Well, first of all, we’d most likely have to go back to Earth, because of my family. Veronica would be my best man, and we’d definitely go with a live band instead of a DJ. We’d keep it small, too, and have more of a cocktail party for the reception instead of a sit down thing.”

 

All three women were staring at him. 

 

“What?” 

 

“You’ve given this a lot of thought.” Allura observed. “Uhm...are you and Keith…?”

 

“What?” Lance hated the pitch of his voice. “No! Erm...no. He hasn’t asked me.” 

 

“Well, you do have it all planned.” 

 

Lance looked away. “Well, I mean...we will, probably. We wanted to build a house first but...I don’t know. I guess he wants to wait a bit.” 

 

Allura and Romelle observe him with something like pity, and Lance wants to disappear. He had been having such a nice day.

 

Pidge rolled her eyes at him. “If it’s so important, why don’t you just ask him?” 

 

~*~

 

So, here’s the thing. 

 

It’s not that Lance doesn’t want to ask Keith. He would in a heartbeat. And he knows Keith would say yes, so it’s not like he’s afraid of being rejected. And he’s not upset that Keith hasn’t asked him yet. If he’s being honest, he’s not even really sure if getting married is really something he wants.

 

It’s just...Lance needs reassurance. 

 

He knows Keith loves him. He knows that. But he needs to know that Keith is choosing him. He needs the reassurance that he won’t try to leave because he thinks it’s for the best. Keith has grown a lot since the last time he tried to do that, but Lance is still a little afraid of it. If Lance were to ask, Keith would say yes, but it would still feel like Lance was somehow tying him down. 

 

So, yeah. Any proposal had to come from Keith. 

 

These thoughts rattle around Lance’s head early the next morning. Keith is still asleep, so he takes advantage of the stillness to study him. Even if Lance already has every freckle and scar memorized. 

 

He’s beautiful. Even after all this time sometimes Lance looks up and wonders how the hell he got so lucky. The pink scar on his face has barely faded over the years, and the sleep mask Lance gave him an eternity ago has been pushed off in his sleep. 

 

Even at peace, he looks worried and stressed. It’s the eyebrows, Lance knows, sitting heavily on his face. Lance loves them. He loves that they lend his already scowl-y boyfriend extra gravity, because if he didn’t look so mean Lance would have trouble fighting off every being with some type of libido in the vicinity. That said, Lance has been tempted to try to tweeze them while he’s asleep to clean them up a little. 

 

He never would have guessed, when he was sixteen, that he’d be over the moon because of a pair of eyebrows. But, here he was. 

 

Keith sighed in his sleep and shifted closer to Lance, shuffling and nudging his face into the crook of Lance’s neck. He usually ended up there at some point in the night, and whenever Lance was awake for it it made him smile. 

 

Keith hated to admit that his Galra half had any affect on their relationship. In fact, he denied it constantly. The only point he would concede was that mentioning Haggar around him usually resulted in a bloodthirsty rage that he had to fight to reign in - even though it had been two years since Haggar had mysteriously disappeared. 

 

Lance, however, knew better. He had done research, so he knew that Keith’s unconscious fascination with his neck was him searching for the comfort of his scent. He knew the fact that he could be weirdly territorial about their room and the need to keep it much cleaner than Lance liked had to do with mate-protection and nesting instincts. He knew what his obsession with leaving marks just under Lance’s collar bone was all about.

 

Lance also knew better than to bring any of this up. He let Keith nuzzle his neck and kept the room stunningly clean because he knew it proved how much Keith cared about him. Even if Keith didn’t know. 

 

“What’re you staring at?” 

 

It’s grunted at him with a wave of morning breath and basically completely lacking affection. Lance blinks to focus his eyes again on the love of his life, who still has his eyes shut but now his face is puckered into an actual scowl, and wonders where the turning point was for them. At what point was it decided that in this version of reality, they would end up here? 

 

“Something beautiful.” Lance mocks, knowing Keith hates it and knowing full well this something beautiful drooled all over his pillow last night while Lance sat up reading. 

 

Keith groaned. “It’s too early for you.” 

 

Lance chuckled. “Why are you awake then?” 

 

Keith grumbled and rolled over, as if it would make Lance disappear. Lance simply moved to curl around him and pressed a small kiss to the back of his neck. Keith slotted their fingers together and Lance closed his eyes again. 

 

Boyfriend. Partner. Mate. Best friend. Nothing properly described how it felt to wake up to this every morning. And really, Lance doubted a ring would either. 

 

“What are we doing today?” Keith asked quietly. 

 

“Nothing.” Lance lied. He pressed his face closer to Keith’s back, holding his hand tighter. “We’re staying in bed all day.” 

 

Keith huffed out a laugh. “Funny. Thought I was supposed to have an important meeting with Kolivan.” 

 

“Kolivan was eaten by a Space-Shark. Meeting’s been canceled.” 

 

“That’s a shame.” 

 

“Mhmm.” 

 

“Guess I’ll save all my arguments for why I shouldn’t lead the Blades for someone else.” 

 

“Guess you’ll have to.” 

 

Lance keeps his tone light, but the bottom drops out of his stomach. Kolivan didn’t like being told no. And even though Keith kept saying he wouldn’t take the job...well, they were his people. And with the war winding down and Haggar just gone...which Keith didn’t seem to believe. Maybe he’d take over the Blades just to have an excuse to keep hunting the witch…

 

“And we have the wedding to go to.” Keith reminded. 

 

“Right.” Lance said, and he’s  _ this close  _ to sounding bitter but he sounds flat so that’s fine. “That.” 

 

“Why are you being so weird about it?” 

 

“I’m not being weird.” 

 

Keith released his hand to roll over in his arms, pressing their foreheads together. “You love weddings.” he reminded. “Why don’t you love this one?” 

 

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know. I think...it’s supposed to be special and they’re just saying...they’re going out of their way to make it not special.”

 

Keith studied him. “It’s not our wedding.”

 

_ No kidding _ , Lance thinks, but he doesn’t say it. He releases his hold on Keith to get out of bed and shower, grabbing his prosthetic leg from where it leaned against the coffee table so he could walk across the room.

 

The coffee table was really a joke, but it had come to have a lot of meaning to Lance. It was wobbly and the chipped teal paint was marred with coffee and ink stains, and it was a little too big for their tiny room on the Atlas. Keith had gotten it in his head that they didn’t have a home because they didn’t own anything, so Lance went out and bought the coffee table. It was kind of silly, but when they took food back to the room they sat on the floor and ate on the table and it did feel more homey. Mostly it just reminded Lance that in spite of how terrible Keith might be at verbalizing his affection, he did want to build something with Lance.

 

But that was two years ago. And Lance wanted to start building. At least draw up a design plan. 

 

~*~

 

The wedding was actually called a ‘mate-binding ceremony’, but otherwise closely resembled a human wedding. Promises, small gifts, speeches about love and acceptance and the finality of it all. At his wedding, Lance wanted the speeches to be about building a home and the end of wandering. 

 

But it wasn’t his wedding. 

 

Keith’s meeting with Kolivan must not have gone well. Keith wouldn’t talk about it and none of the blades would speak to him. Not even Acxa, when usually Lance had to practically drag his boyfriend from her grasp.

 

But it was a wedding. They were supposed ro be having fun. So Lance decided to annoy Shiro, in the hopes of making his life a little better.

 

Being in a long term relationship granted Lance with a sense of superiority that he probably did not need. And he did know he was a pain in the ass eighty percent of the time. But god damn was it fun to make Shiro uncomfortable.

 

“So, Curtis looks good tonight.” Lance says, his eyes on Keith as he gets them another round of drinks. The tables in the mess hall had been cleared out to host the wedding reception, as it was the largest room on the Atlas. 

 

Shiro’s cheeks turned faintly pink, but his composure didn’t break. He and Curtis had been doing  _ something _ for months now and everyone knew it. Lance had thought it was a mutual decision to not put a label on it, but given the way Curtis was glaring in their direction, Lance knew he must have been completely wrong.

 

“I hadn’t noticed.” Shiro says evenly.

 

“Hmm, well it looks like Ralph has.” he said, nodding at where the small cargo pilot was laughing way too hard at something the analyst was saying.

 

Shiro mumbled something that sounded a lot like ‘slut’. 

 

“You know, you could just ask him out.” Lance suggested. 

 

“Like how you just  _ asked Keith out _ without being a pining mess for years and nearly dying before finally telling him?” Shiro snapped.

 

Lance rose his eyebrow. “Well, at least I wasn’t sucking his dick the entire time.” 

 

Shiro really flushed this time, and Lance smirked. Got him. 

 

“Not that I’d presume to know anything about what you two do.” Lance continued airily. “But you do seem to have a lot of late night meetings with just one of your analysts. I mean, thank God it’s not my sister, but -”

 

“Is it that noticeable?” Shiro moaned 

 

“No.” Lance lied.

 

It was a pretty small ship. Of course it was noticeable. 

 

“I’ve told him we can’t.” Shiro explained, sounding pained. 

 

“Why not?” he asked incredulously. 

 

“I’m his commanding officer.” 

 

“Keith’s my commanding officer.” Lance pointed out, as the man in question put a glass in his hand and rested his free hand on the small of his back. 

 

Keith snorted. “Like you ever listen to my commands.” 

 

“It’s different.” Shiro argued. “Lance, you have no idea.The Garrison - “

 

“Is on Earth. You’re in space. Curtis is in space. Obviously the sex is good because otherwise you wouldn’t be so worried about it.” 

 

Keith looked at Shiro in shock. “You’re having sex with Curtis?” 

 

Lance rolled his eyes. Of course Keith hadn’t noticed. He probably was keeping himself intentionally blind to it. Either way, if it made Shiro think that no one knew it was probably for the best. 

 

“When the High Command finds out, Curtis will be reassigned.” Shiro argued. “It could destroy his career.” 

 

“That’s only if you do something to make them punish you.” Lance reasoned. 

 

Matt appeared at Shiro’s shoulder. “What are we talking about?” 

 

“How bad Shiro has it for Curtis.” 

 

“Oh, that.” Matt rolled his eyes. “Old news.” 

 

“News?” Shiro sputtered. “What - “ 

 

“Have you licked his asshole?” 

 

Keith spat his champagne out with a sputter. 

 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Shiro demanded. 

 

“It’s not true love until you’ve licked his asshole.” 

 

“For straight women, maybe.” Lance muttered, swatting at Keith with napkins he grabbed off a passing serving droid’s tray. 

 

“So?” Matt pressed. “Have you?” 

 

Shiro was bright red, and Lance would almost feel bad for him if this wasn’t so damn entertaining. Keith gave up on trying to wipe off the spat up champagne and and tossed the dirty napkins on a table. 

 

“My life was so much better when you were all children.” Shiro grumbled.

 

“Shiro, what’s the worst that could happen?” Lance sighed. “It’s not like he’s going to reject you. Not when he can’t help but look over here every ten seconds.” 

 

“The Garrison - “ 

 

“Jesus, fuck the Garrison!” Lance groaned. “Look, I don’t know why no one has ever told you this, but you deserve to be happy. And what happened with Adam sucks, okay? But Curtis is smart, and brave, and really fucking hot - sorry, babe - and he’s alive. So. Please, I’m begging you, just go and tell him his eyes hold the stars or whatever romantic bullshit is running through your head, because you so obviously want to.”

 

Shiro, Matt and Keith were all staring at Lance like he had sprouted another head. 

 

“Well?” Lance scowled, shooing Shiro off. “Go on.” 

 

Shiro backed away slowly, then turned and walked towards Curtis, who pretended to ignore his approach. But they all saw the smile curling on his lips as he got close. Matt rolled his eyes and headed over to where his sister was holding court at a table of tech geeks. 

 

“Come on, let’s dance.” Keith muttered in Lance’s ear, tugging on his hand. 

 

Lance’s stomach flipped, because Keith never wanted to dance so when he asked it did things to Lance. But still. He just...

 

“No, it’s alright.” Lance half-lies. 

 

Keith sighs and rolls his eyes, and pulled Lance onto the dance floor. Keith pulled him close and knotted his fingers together at the small of his back, pressing their hips together. Lance sighed and leaned forward, resting his head on Keith’s shoulder, avoiding the champagne spill as best he can. They shuffled back and forth, a lazy sort of clinging while moving to a beat. 

 

“Why are you being so weird today?” Keith mumbled at they swayed. 

 

Lance shrugged and closed his eyes. 

 

“What’s wrong?” 

 

“How’d the meeting go?” Lance mumbled. 

 

Keith sighed and pressed his lips to Lance’s temple. “Fine.” 

 

“What happened?” 

 

Keith was silent. 

 

Lance fiddled with one of Keith’s buttons, then looked up. “So?” 

 

“He wants me to lead. I told him no. He wants me to lead anyway.” Keith glanced down at him. “And I told him my boyfriend said no.” 

 

Lance smiled. “Yeah?” 

 

“Yeah.” Keith turned them slowly. “Gotta start building a house for that coffee table.” 

 

Lance closed his eyes again and settled back into Keith’s shoulder. Other couples slowly revolved around them. Shiro muttered something in Curtis’s ear, and they slipped out of the room with their hands entwined.

 

“I can’t believe you didn’t know about Shiro and Curtis.” Lance mumbled. 

 

“I don’t like to think about Shiro sleeping with anyone, let alone rimming someone.” Keith grumbled. “So crude.” 

 

“I think it was the shock Shiro needed.” 

 

“You really think he sees the stars in Curtis’ eyes?”

 

“It was the most ridiculous thing I could think of that wouldn’t make you spit up more bubbles.” 

 

Keith shook his head. “Thanks, Lance.” 

 

“Anytime.” Lance sighed. “Don’t tell Ezor, but this is the least exciting space wedding I’ve ever attended.” 

 

“It’s the only space wedding you’ve attended. Stop putting space in front of everything.” 

 

Lance stayed silent. Their space wedding better be way better than this. 

 

~*~

 

Lance is burning and freezing, and his head is killing him and his mouth is dry and he feels so heavy. He drags himself up and to the bathroom, and kneels in front of the toilet. He rests his arms on the seat and rests his face half in the bowl. The chemical scent of the cleaner makes him want to puke, but it never comes. 

 

He closes his eyes. 

 

He doesn’t know how long he’s there. 

 

“Lance?” Keith grumbles at him from the other room. “You up?” 

 

A whimper escapes Lance’s lips, and he drags his eyes open. They shut again. The occasions when he had almost died felt better than this. His whole skull is on fire. 

 

“Lance, we have training.” 

 

Oh, God, training. Lance could barely walk across the room. There’s no way he’s up for cardio and Keith handing his ass to him. He can hear Keith’s feet slap on the floor. 

 

“What? You drink too much?” 

 

“No.” Lance whispered. Speaking made him smell the chemicals again, and he gagged. He did not puke. It was miserable. 

 

He felt cold hands on his back, heard the rustle of Keith’s pajama pants as he crouched near him. Keith’s hands were never cold.

 

“You okay?” 

 

“I’m dying.” Lance moaned. 

 

Keith pressed his hands to his forehead. “You’re burning up.” 

 

Lance whimpered and pushed closer to Keith, knocking him back a bit as he took his body weight. Keith moved his arms under his back and legs, pulling him up and carrying him back to the bed. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Keith asked softly. 

 

“I’m really sick.” Lance whispered. 

 

Fingers traced his brow. “You seemed fine yesterday.” 

 

“Space flu.” 

 

The hands went down to his leg. There was a light pressure and a click as Keith twisted and pulled his prosthetic off. Then the hands were back under his chin, and a glass pressed to his lips. 

 

“Drink.” 

 

The water was cool and soothing, but his stomach was twisting anyway. Lance drank as much as he could before feebly pushing Keith off. 

 

“I’m going to get someone to look at you.” Keith said softly. “Go back to sleep.” 

 

~*~

 

Someone to look at him was Coran, who woke Lance up and made him sit up. 

 

“Well, it looks like a case of Floxian Weevil Flu.” Coran said, feeling his neck. “Highly contagious. I’m afraid we’ll have to quarantine you, my boy.”

 

“Floxian Weevil Flu?” Keith repeated. His voice was pitched with worry. 

 

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about!” Coran said brightly, even as he snapped a surgical mask over his mouth and nose. “Galras are immune, so you should be fine.” 

 

“Well what about him?” 

 

“Hmm...fever, nausea. He won’t be able to eat solids for a few days. I’ll ask Hunk to make some bone broths for you to feed him. He’s going to be very weak, don’t expect him to be awake the whole time.” 

 

“What about medicine?” 

 

“What medicine?” 

 

“There’s no medicine?” 

 

“It’ll pass. He’s going to feel awful, but no one ever dies from this. Lance, how do you feel?” 

 

“Like I’m dying.” Lance groaned. 

 

“See? He’s fine.” Coran stood and let Lance drop down onto the bed. “Keith, the best you can do is make him comfortable, don’t let anyone else in here, and wait it out.” 

 

~*~ 

 

Lance spent the next three days in bed, only getting up to shuffle to the bathroom. He wasn’t always awake, and when he was awake he wasn’t exactly conscious. Even though Coran had said there was no medicine, Keith force fed him fever reducers and painkillers alongside his soup. 

 

They watched a lot of movies. Well, Keith watched a lot of movies. Lance only remembered snippets. 

 

“S’not fair.” Lance grumbled one morning or afternoon after being bullied into the shower. “Stupid space boyfriend with stupid space genes so he doesn’t get space flu.” 

 

“We got together on Earth, Lance.” Keith reminded, sounding impatient. “I’m not a space-anything.” 

 

“Yeah, you are.” Lance buried his face in the fresh sheets. “Space-ninja. Space-boyfriend.” 

 

Blunt fingers scratched at his scalp, making Lance close his eyes. He felt better today, finally. But still weak. Maybe Keith would let him try to eat something solid today. 

 

“Why do you still put space on the front of everything?” Keith muttered. “We’ve been out here for years.” 

 

Lance sighed. “Cause. It’s part of the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

 

“What? Voltron?” 

 

“You.” 

 

The fingers stopped. 

 

“Voltron’s just...the plot device.” Lance mumbled. “It’s really about me and you.” 

 

“Pretty sure it’s the other way around, Lance.” 

 

“I’ve been to other universes. I know things.” Lance dragged his eyes open and looked up at his boyfriend. His wonderful, worrying, blunt, space boyfriend. “I love you so much, you know that? I know you’re secretly super romantic, but sometimes I just want you to propose already.” 

 

Keith’s eyes went comically wide. “You what?” 

 

Lance rolled over. “Nevermind.”

 

Keith was silent for a moment. “Is that what you want?” 

 

“I don’t want you to leave.” Lance mumbled. “I don’t want...I want to give you a home. A real one.”

 

Keith lay down and nuzzled into his neck, curling into the shape of Lance’s back. 

 

“You know, by Galra standards, we’re already engaged.” he muttered into Lance’s shoulder, sealing the words with a light kiss. “Basically married, at this point.” 

 

“You’re the space-boyfriend, babe. I require a proper proposal.” Lance grumbled. “And a proper wedding. None of this Kolivan officiating on the bridge crap.” 

 

Lance could feel his lips curl into a smile. “Would you like to dictate my vows, too?” 

 

“...you’re on your own there.” 

 

They lay in silence for a bit. Lance’s head started to hurt again, so he closed his eyes. 

 

“I’m still terrible at this.” Keith muttered. 

 

“What?”

 

“Loving you.” 

 

Lance’s eyes shot open, and his skull felt like it was on fire. Even still, he rolled over and look at the sad expression on Keith’s face. “That’s not what - “ 

 

“I had no idea - “

 

“Keith - “

 

“I thought...I don’t know! I thought if you wanted to you’d ask and we’ve been together for years and I still have no idea when it comes to you.” 

 

“Keith, stop.” His voice made his head throb. “I never meant...I know you love me. And you won’t leave. And you’re an amazing boyfriend. Space boyfriend. You’re not  _ bad at loving me _ .” Lance swallowed heavily and owned up the the truth. “Sometimes I just...I think something’s going to take you away from me. And I’ve lost so much and if I lose you...it won’t be worth it.” 

 

Keith leaned forward and pressed chapped lips to Lance’s equally dry ones. When he pulled away, he pressed their foreheads together. 

 

“When you get better, we’re going to go to Earth, and start building our house.” Keith promised. “And I’m going to do this properly, and talk to your parents, and take you on a really nice date, and I’m not leaving you. Never again.” 

 

“Okay.” Lance whispered. 

 

Keith sighed and shook his head. “And people say I’m the one who doesn’t communicate.” 

 

Lance smiled slightly. “As If I would get down on my one good knee - “

 

“You have both your knees, Lance.” 

 

“Well, the one’s better than the other!” Lance closed his eyes. “My head hurts again.” 

 

“Go back to sleep.” Another kiss. “You’ll feel better when you wake up.” 

 

Honestly, he already did. 

 

~*~

 

_ You know I love you so bad _

_ I don't believe in love _

_ You know I love you so bad, so bad _

_ You know I love you so bad _

_ Like the kid in the back of the classroom _

_ Who can't do the math 'cause he can't see the blackboard, so bad _

**Author's Note:**

> HI! I'M SO SORRY I DISAPPEARED! BUT I'M ALIVE!
> 
> I really, really, meant to finish this weeks ago but work has been crazy and every night I had off I ended up having plans and being a little too tipsy to write anything worthwhile and then I had to go out of town for a family thing and I thought I'd get some stuff done but I didn't. And I really wanted to do something with this song ("Love You So Bad" by Ezra Furman) so I decided to focus on this one shot, and then get back to the ongoing Ground Control to Major Tom story, which I will start the new chapter tonight, promise. 
> 
> Anyway, please forgive me. 
> 
> I know not everyone is super positive on Curtis, but I think it's important that Shiro gets to move on. So, here's non-cannon universe where they get together anyway.


End file.
